I have a book being published soon, called “Simple Observations.” It’s a humorous look at everything from: babies, to trips to the local Chinese buffet, to dogs, to a man’s first visit to a hair salon, to a vacation at the beach, to wedding receptions, to zombies. I’ve put together a few snippets from the book. You can also see them at my authors site at patrickdykieauthor.com. I appreciate any feedback on them, and I hope you enjoy them. Thanks for stopping by.
As I finished off the last, cold Coors Light beer within a hundred miles, I watched my wife with admiration, and a little envy as she unloaded and set up our tent in record time. Leaving my wife and son to unpack the last of the gear, I headed on a half-mile trek to what were called the communal showers and bathrooms.
I was soon to learn that communal meant, sitting on a wooden toilet in a shed-like structure, next to a man named Ed, from Boise, Idaho. Ed, while enjoying the great outdoors, had been subsisting for weeks on a diet of chili, baked beans and more chili. I didn’t even want to think about the showers.
On my return trip to our campsite I couldn’t help but notice the abundance of wildlife. This included many new and exotic species of birds. I was glad my wife had allowed me to pack my binoculars. Over the years, I had gradually become a fairly knowledgeable and enthusiastic bird watcher. Returning to camp and procuring my binoculars, I proceeded to view some of the large, strange birds. They were nothing like the birds which visited my back-yard bird feeder. These were large and black like common crows, but with smaller heads. Their feathers were not a dull black, but had an iridescent shine. Their wings were large and narrow. Instead of trilling or whistling they made a high buzzing sound, almost like a bee. As I continued to stare at the strange birds, and they rapidly approached our campsite, my concentration was interrupted by my wife. In a flat, calm voice she said,
“Sweetheart. I hate to ruin your reverie, but those aren’t birds, but rather mosquitoes. If you want to see the coming dawn, it may be a good idea to grab a stick and a few rocks, run for the tent, and pray we didn’t forget to pack the bug spray.”