Last week we had a big power outage at my house, and I lost my electricity for about eight hours. As soon as the power went out, I called the electric company and said “Hey electricity people. I just lost my power.” Do you know what they said? A young woman informed me that she was sorry I had lost it, and if she found it she would return it to me. Meanwhile, I should keep looking. I can imagine she was smiling, and trying to make light of the situation, but come on. It’s not funny. It’s dark, my wife is frisky, and I can’t find my bottle of Viagra!
I later learned that lightning had hit a nearby tree which downed some electrical wires. Have any of you ever been hit by lightning? I hate to admit it, but I’m afraid of lightning. Do you know that there are over sixteen million lightning strikes every year. Did you ever wonder who’s counting them. It’s got to be a tough job. Boom! fourteen million four hundred and fifty-two thousand eight hundred and fifty-three. Boom! Fourteen million………… . I even heard that they have new and improved electronic lightning detectors that can tell you when a lightning strike is imminent. The old detectors; Larry, Chuck and Phil at the Weather Channel are no longer with us. Maybe we can take a few moments to say a small prayer. They will be missed.
Did you ever hear anyone say that lightning never strikes the same place twice? How do they know? Did somebody ever test the theory? I can hear it now.
“Hey Joe Do you see that black, burnt area over there. Yeah, the one with the ash and the small pieces of burnt clothing. Do you mind standing on the spot. There’s a thunderstorm coming, and I want to check something out. No, the umbrellas not a problem.”
The other day a friend told me that you can tell how far away a lightning strike is by how long it takes you to hear the sound of it. If you see a flash, start counting. If you then hear the clap of thunder five seconds later that means the strike was about one mile away. I then asked him what if the flash and the thunder-clap are simultaneous? What should I do? He said,
“Go into the light, my friend. Go into the light.” He also said, hopefully my wife will clean up the ashes. You don’t want anyone tracking them into the house.