I thought I’d never see the day when marijuana would become legal, but there are now eighteen states that allow the use of marijuana for medicinal purposes. What, exactly does that mean? Does some guy in California say to his wife, “Honey, I have a terrible headache. Do you mind if I take a hit off your reefer?”
I understand marijuana can help some people manage chronic pain, help with glaucoma, and reduce nausea from cancer treatments. I’m all for allowing them to have as much ganga weed as they want, if it makes their quality of life better. The problem is, I hear some doctors are prescribing marijuana for things like stress, anxiety, and depression. I got yelled at by my boss for an hour today, fought my way through insane, rush-hour traffic, and came home after a twelve-hour day to a big stack of bills. Do you know something? I think I need to visit my doctor! When I was growing up, marijuana was known as a recreational drug. I always wondered what that meant. Did you load a tent, a bale, a case of rolling paper, and a box of matches into your camper, and head for the woods? Did you hear things like, “Hey Joe, what do you say we hit the courts and shoot some hoops. No, I think I’ll get my recreation in my basement with my good friends, Roach Clip and Mary Jane.”
I know, some of the laws legalizing marijuana were passed with good intentions. I wonder though, if there might be unexpected consequences. Will we start seeing out of work drug-sniffing dogs sitting on street corners begging for bones? You might even see the reality show, “Cops” canceled. It wouldn’t be as exciting if the police chase down a baggy pants suspect, wrestle him to the ground, pull a huge bag of weed out of his pocket and say, “Sorry son; you look a little stressed. Here, why don’t you sit down, relax, light up, and enjoy.” Will unemployment shoot up, and escalade sales go down, when all the drug dealers go out of business? We may even soon walk into convenience stores, and find the shelves empty of chips, Slim Jims, and brownies, when millions of people, simultaneously get the munchies at two in the morning. On the bright side; weight watchers stock will rise, they’ll be less road rage incidents, and climate change won’t matter. We’ll all be too stoned to care!