It seems like almost everything these days has a drive thru. Years ago they used to only be at fast food restaurants. Now you have them at banks, coffee shops, and even pharmacies. I heard that many supermarkets may soon have drive-up shopping. You order on-line, drive to the store, pull up to a loading dock, pop your trunk, and a nice young man loads the groceries into your trunk.
I have to admit, I’m a little lazy, and love the convenience of drive thru’s. I’m kind of hoping drive-in movie theaters make a come back, they open more liquor store drive thrus, and someone finally figures out how to build a drive thru bathroom. Then, I’ll never have to leave my car! Even though I love drive thrus, I still get irritated with them once in a while. Have any of you ever had someone behind you beep their horn because you didn’t move up fast enough, and there’s twenty cars in front of you? Here’s something I’ve never been able to figure out. How come we can invent tiny smart phones that can instantaneously, and clearly communicate with a Mongolian Yak herder on the other side of the world, but we can’t make drive thru speakers that work properly for twenty feet? Half the time the voices coming through sound like Darth Vader from Star Wars. Did you ever get to the speaker and hear something that sounds like, “Luke, I am your father,” in a deep raspy voice? It can be quite unsettling.
I think that drive thru’s should have little picture screens, so you can see who’s taking your order. Then maybe they could read your lips, and not mess it up. It would also help deaf people, who communicate with sign language. I’ve always wondered about two things. Isn’t it unfair, the hearing impaired can’t use drive thrus, and what’s the universal sign for a Big Mac without pickles? How about the people in front of you who order, then don’t pull their car up far enough. They leave you in fast-food no man’s land with your head out the window, and a distant voice from the speaker, repeating, “Can I take your order.” Can someone please tell me why the menus at fast-food drive thru’s are always, right at the speaker? You pull up, look at the menu for two seconds, try to scan the eight million choices in microscopic lettering, and a voice comes on and says, “What will you have?” I’d like to say, “I’ll have at least seven seconds to make a choice, loser,” but I don’t. I figure if you work at a drive thru window you have a tough enough job. Besides, I’m afraid I’ll hear that scary voice again, saying, “Luuuuuuke…… take the grilled chicken caesar salad with no dressing, and may the force be with you.”