Cutting It Just a Little Too Close (#57)

   

     Have any of you been noticing that men and women have started to cut down on shaving? I’m seeing more men with three-day growths of beard, and even my wife’s legs aren’t as hair-free and silky smooth as they used to be.

    

      I think I figured out why people aren’t shaving as much. It’s the ridiculous, incredible, astronomical, and insane price of razor blades. I wonder if women’s razors are also expensive. If they are, can we expect to soon be meeting women whose legs make Chewbacca of the Star Wars saga look like a smooth and aerodynamic dolphin? Will I be getting slapped after complimenting woman on their wonderful and quite stylish alpaca fur leggings? Why have the prices of razor blades gone up so much? It’s not like their made by a Japanese master swordsmith whose family has been making razor-sharp and deadly Samurai swords for untold generations. The things are being popped out of big machines in China for about fifteen cents apiece, for crying out loud!

      Here’s another thing I’ve been noticing. Whatever happened to the razor blades that had only one or two sharp, simple and comfortable blades? I now use razor blades with four blades, but heard there’s new ones with five blades! Why would you need a fifth blade? Do the first four suck? I think I may have figured out why razors now have five blades. The first blade is to gently and delicately pull the hair follicle up straight. The second cuts the hair on your face at skin level. The third blade is slightly angled to get the hair just below the surface of your skin. The fourth blades purpose is to smoothly remove the outer epidermal surface of your face. The fifth blade? You don’t even want to know. The thought of it makes the hair on the back of my neck, and on my wife’s legs stand up. Let’s just say, if they go to six blades, we’ll all be walking skeletons!

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