Bizarre Reality (#54)

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     Have you noticed all the crazy, new reality shows that keep coming out? Producers of these shows say they offer viewers a glimpse into the lives of people who might not otherwise be seen. After watching shows like “Jersey Shore,” “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, “Duck Dynasty,” and “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” I only have one thing to say. “Could someone, please get me a blindfold!”

     I was watching a reality TV show the other night called, “Amish Mafia.” Do any of you think you’d be afraid of the Amish Mafia? If you don’t pay up, do they come over to your farm and flatten all your corn? Instead of cement overshoes, do they put over-sized work boots on you and dump you in an outhouse? How about a show, “I Didn’t know I Was Pregnant?” I would think, the weight gain, missed periods, midnight snacks of pickles and ice cream, the glow, the large round belly, and the kicking at three in the morning, might be critical clues. I did learn a valuable lesson from one show. No, I’m not smarter than a 5th grader. I also had one of my personal dreams crushed while watching a reality show called, “Make Me a Supermodel.” Do you know, you have to be good-looking to be a supermodel?

     I did watch two reality shows that would probably be a hit, if they were combined into one. The first was called, “I’ve Got Nothing to Wear,” and the second one is, “How to Look Good Naked.” They could call it, “Honey, How Does My Nipple Ring Look With My New Earrings? ” How many of you have watched the “Survivor” series? They always have them set in exotic places like, Borneo, Samoa, and the South Pacific.” I would like to see them in more realistic survival locations. How about “Survivor, The New York City Subway System?” Don’t even get me started on a realty show called, “19 and Counting.” It’s about a family with nineteen children that can count pretty good, but otherwise, isn’t too bright. I would think a reality show called, “The Virgin Diaries,” might be a little boring. “Saturday; stayed in all night, watched “The Preachers Wives,” on TLC, and took three ice-cold showers.” I am, looking forward to an upcoming series named, “Cougar Town.” Years ago in the Canadian Rockies I walked into a bar on what was known as, Cougar Night.” I don’t know if it’s the same thing, but I did get torn up pretty bad!

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About Patrick Dykie

I'm a simple, middle class family man, living a quiet life in eastern Pennsylvania with my wife and two sons. I love to write and make people laugh. During the day, I'm an account representative, and at night I'm working hard to be a writer. I've faced some things over the past few years that have slowed me down in my dreams, but I have always been an optimist. I also have a love of life, and believe it is a precious gift. I wish you all well on your own journeys.
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2 Responses to Bizarre Reality (#54)

  1. Reality shows spread like a virus when the Writers’ strike wouldn’t get settled. That was a shameful time in the entertainment industry. And like most viruses, this one keeps mutating in ways that make me think we will never find a cure because we’re learning to live with it as “normal.” YIKES!

  2. colonialist says:

    I seriously suspect that there is very limited reality in reality shows – these characters all alone facing the dangers of the wilds – but when one remembers there are a director and camera crews and technicians all lurking around, some of the unreality comes to mind!

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